My Story

 

I was born the fourth of nine children and all the time growing up, I never seemed to fit in. Even though I was surrounded by so many siblings, I felt such a void in my life. I liked being by myself a lot. At the age of ten, I began to sing and play guitar. In the summer, I would go into the woods and sit on a big rock to practice so I didn't drive my mom crazy with the noise, and to get away from everything and everyone. Being alone seemed to be a safe place for me, a place where I could sort of get lost in my own little world. Eventually my parents encouraged my sisters and me to start family band, and for many years we played at weddings, parties, dances, night clubs, bars, etc. My parents loved music and found great joy in listening to us play and sing, but they didn't realize how life in these places would introduce us to a lifestyle that would bring us nothing but sorrow, pain, destruction and misery.

At the age of thirteen I began to drink and at times found myself not being able to finish the evening gig because I was too drunk. I began to use drugs to help me feel more liked by my peers in school and soon began to use them when I sang. I thought alcohol and drugs would help fill that void in my life.

At the age of nineteen, I moved west with a man I barely knew and at the age of twenty, we were married. I thought marriage would help fill the void in my life. The marriage lasted two years. The day we married I remember walking down the aisle saying to myself, "Well, if this doesn't work I'll just get a divorce!" I had no integrity, and no morals, I didn't care who I hurt as long as I got what I wanted as I tried to fill the void so deep inside of me.

In 1985, I moved to Ontario to pursue my musical dream. I traveled and sang with several bands and one day met a man who shared Christ with me. I was very fearful of all the things he said, I was not used to hearing the name of Jesus spoken in a right and holy way, it was always a curse word in my life.
When this man saw my fear he said to me, "Brenda if you really want to know if Jesus is real and if He can change your life, ask Him yourself.

A few days later, through faith, I did just that and asked this man if he could tell me more about Jesus and show me what I had to do to make sure I knew Jesus was real. He led me into a prayer that simply said, “Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner and I confess my sins to You right now. Please forgive me for all my wrong doings and please come into my life and live Your life through me." I prayed that prayer by faith, not fully realizing God had heard my cry. The next day, while on a city bus and listening to a song called, "Mercy Built A Bridge" on my walkman, Jesus revealed Himself to me and spoke to my innermost being by allowing me to understand that He Is the bridge between me and my heavenly Father and that I must confess I am a sinner and I am in need of a Savior. (John 14:6) It was as if Jesus had confirmed all I had prayed in my prayer the night before. I was so excited I began to cry and then laugh and I was filled to over-flowing with unspeakable joy. I felt like a brand new person. The void was filled, He, Jesus, was the missing part that I needed to be whole. Needless to say, I wanted to find out more about this wonderful new friend, Jesus, so I found a Bible and began to read and study His word. It was like I had found a treasure map and I was studying this map with every thing I had to make sure I found the treasure. Oh, I had found the treasure all right. I had found Jesus the Source of all my being.

A year and a half later, I married the man who introduced me to Jesus Christ. He had been a Christian for twenty years but had never experienced the surrendered life. He had never experienced God's peace that comes from a life lived in obedience to Christ and as a result, was a very bitter and angry man. The man who was supposed to be my protector became the man I needed protection from. Yet, God used him to introduce me to Christ. Although life with him was difficult, I made a vow to him and to God on our wedding day that I was not going to divorce him, no matter how difficult life got! Many nights I prayed to God to renew my love for this man. Because of his bitterness and anger I found it very difficult to love him, but the Lord would always answer my prayer by filling me with compassion and love for him. December 1st, 1994 God saw fit to take him home. He died of a brain tumor, no one knew he had.

About that time, God sent a precious couple into my life, who encouraged me in my music, showed me the love of Jesus, and even financially helped me record my first CD. They bridged the gap between suffering the loss of my husband and the abuse I endured. I lived with them for two wonderful years, under their care, and mentorship, and left only to marry my childhood sweetheart.

My husband, Wayne Jamieson, a man totally devoted to Jesus Christ, who shares my passion to share the love of Christ to the ends of the earth, travels with me as much as time will permit. When it is impossible for him to join me, I am comforted to know that I go with his blessing and prayers.

As I have given the Lord my song and story, He has richly given me the desires of my heart, for which I am eternally grateful. My prayer is that your life will also be blessed.

Please, sincerely consider praying the prayer below, and make my God, my Deliverer, my Restorer, my Source of being, yours!

Lord Jesus after reading this story, I know You are the Son of the Living God, and I believe that You have the power to change my story and make me Your Child. I know I am a sinner and I need a Savior. Will You forgive me for all the wrongs I have done and will You come into my life and live Your life through me?

Amen!

If you have prayed this prayer, you are now a child of God and you have eternal life. He has a great plan for you and wants to give you His very best through a relationship with Him. (Jeremiah 29:11) Commit yourself to join a church that preaches Jesus Christ the Son of God, crucified, buried, and risen and one that teaches that Jesus is the only way to salvation and the only way to God the Father.

Brenda